I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
