If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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