How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
