You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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