Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
