i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
