I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
