yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
