I skipped work to stalk him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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