Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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