I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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