..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
