on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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