can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
