i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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