Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i think i just lost a toe
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
