Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
