Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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