nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
