if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
