i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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