It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize