just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
