i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
