Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
