I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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