My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
