good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
