dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize