I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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