sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
