I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
