Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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