I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
