he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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