so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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