I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Mom said you looked used
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
