Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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