I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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