it hurts more in the daytime
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
