imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
