I smell stomach acid.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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