I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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