oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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