My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
