I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
