ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think my vagina is haunted
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i've created a new STD.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
