its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
