Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
