Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
