ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
