My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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