If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize