I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
