WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
