the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
