shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize