remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
