if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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