you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
