I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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