I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
