Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
